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The Resin Dating Game
Sasha Blaze
(Grab a cold drink, sit back, and entertain yourselves with some mild lunacy until fireworks time.)

CUE UP lame title music, bad graphics, and laugh track . . .

Good afternoon, America, and welcome to today's episode of The Resin Dating Game. This is Pen, filling in for your regular announcer and trying to ignore the humiliation of MCing a cheesy fake TV show like this one, but Cynthia says I can't change out of this hot uniform or have any deviled eggs unless I play along.

In today's game, we're trying to match three lonely resin guys with the lady of their dreams. Can they convince one of our lovely bachelorettes to move to a small town in Kansas where there isn't even a real mall? Or will Claudine put a stop to the whole plan before these desperate bachelors can convince Cynthia to place an order? Stay tuned to find out!

Aaaaaaand we're back! Let's begin by introducing Bachelorette #1, Ms. Sooah. She's a popular girl, and she's already proven that she can bring strong doll collectors to their knees. Audience, remember, you can see our bachelorettes, but our team of contestants can't. Take a look at the charming and, er, talented Sooah:


(psssst, Jenna, I'm not looking! I promise! Not. Looking.)

Bachelorette #2 is a newcomer to the resin dating scene. She'd like us to call her Christina13. She's a girl with many secrets and a large entourage, but she promises that her angry elf bodyguard won't follow her if she decides to move.


And now that our audience is acquainted with these beautiful ladies, let's meet the hopeless losers, er, contestants for today's game. Ms. Sooah, Ms. Christina13, are you listening?

OFF CAMERA: charming girlish giggles

All righty, then!

Our first lonely bachelor is Shimada Kanbei. Ladies, I live in the same house with Kanbei, and I can tell you that he's a man of mystery: a wandering ronin with a big sword, a gentle heart, and a secret sorrow. And kind of a limited wardrobe.

Our second contestant today is Lyon. This man needs only one name: that’s enough to get him into all the best parties and all the after-hours clubs in London, Tokyo, Seoul, and Emporia. Is he an international financier with eccentric habits? A top male model? A blue-blooded playboy turned cosplaying jewel thief? An alien from outer space? Or just a graduate student with an overactive imagination?

The third member of our contestant team, Cho Sejong, has asked me to say that his family prefers to avoid publicity. He appears on this afternoon's program under an assumed name and assumed hair. A student of the martial arts, a scholar of both the Korean and Chinese languages, and a lover of particularly tall women, “Mr. Cho” would like to note that he feels deep patriotic pride in competing for the affections of such lovely and modest Korean ladies as he is sure our bachelorettes must be. (Huh.)

And now that you've met all the players in today's game, let's--wait! What’s this? A fourth contestant? No way is that little punk going to--I mean, this is against all the rules! Judges? Judges, what’s your ruling? You’re going to allow him to play? This is SO lame—I mean, never in the entire history of The Dating Game has there been—well, if you say so.

Ladies and gentlemen, our surprise fourth contestant: Shunshou the—oh, come on, I can’t read this on the air! Cynthiaaaaaaaa!


Yes, the uniform is hot. And I do like deviled eggs. *snarl*

*clearing throat*

Our fourth contestant is Mr. Shunshou. He wants me to announce that he has recently returned from a lengthy visit to Southern California, where he hobnobbed with such celebrities as Trent, Dylan, and Wendy. His wit and charm brought an audience of international scholars to its feet, cheering wildly. He believes that guile and cuteness will beat muscles and long legs any day, and he has asked me to mention to our bachelorettes that, unlike his opponents, he possesses an, er, “option part.” Ladies, meet Shunshou:

And that’s our team this afternoon, ladies and viewing audience. (Right? Right?) When we return from our commercial break, we’ll see what these idi--er hopeful guys can do to persuade one of the lovely bachelorettes to take them seriously.

DIRECTOR: Aaaaand we're clear! Two minutes, everybody. Listen, Pen, I could do without the ad-libbing. Stick to the script, okay?

PEN: I quit. Make Etienne do it.

DIRECTOR: Two words, Pen. Deviled. Eggs.

. . . will the director be able to keep her MC on the job with the promise of picnic food? Will the contestant team be able to convince one of the bachelorettes to move to Kansas? The fireworks aren't all in the sky today, folks! Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of . . .


CUE UP slightly-less-lame closing-credits music and more bad graphics.
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very funny and clever way of trying to pick a new girl! Love it!

Thanks!! Of course, the *ideal* girl for this situation would be your Sizu . . .

awww, that is so sweet...and since Trent seems to becoming preoccupied with some other person...well, lol, she just might need the diversion to cheer her up!

I like the Uni doll~ :3 She's the proper level of snark and pretty. Like a lovely lady that makes witty comments at a soft level that can only be heard by those standing next to her.

She is all that . . . but, jeez, I keep going back to Sooah and looking and looking--there's something about her.

On the other hand, there's nothing that says I have to stop at two girls forever, right? Right?

You forgot to mention that Mr. Shunshou has EXTRA parts that makes him EXTRA popular with the ladies. W00t! XD

Awwwww, nope, it's in there, but I think Pen censored Shunshou's hand-scrawled introduction script. A LOT. ^_^

woooot this is tooo awesome... and pardon me while I wipe the drool off my keyboard, and your HOST is a hottie too! (psst... pen... i love deviled eggs too!)

I say sooah... the other girl looks young to me, she has a christina ricci thing going on but given that you wanted an older-looking girl... sooah.

I bet I see owner pictures of the UH-13 and fall madly in love with her, but for the current purpose I'm definitely leaning toward Sooah. She'll need a big crimpy brown wig and a lei, though . . .

Deviled eggs all round! My family makes 'em the simple way, with just mayo and dijon mustard, 2:1. What about yours?

Keahi: girlssss bleahhhhh

Kane: I vote for Sooah, she seems pretty but thoughtful too.

Kapono: Christina13 looks like she could handle the guys and still have a bit of dignity left.

Shan: :::signing::: Christina is lovely but don't you like Sooah better Ms S?

Keahi, Etienne shares your feelings, though I suspect for different reasons . . .

Kane and Shan, I think you're probably right, though I can't disagree with Kapono either. It is so much easier to choose boy BJDs! Aaaauuugggh.

Yay! Thrilling indeed!

I'm glad, btw, that you've not only seen the Unidoll girl but are considering her - I was looking at her today and thought of you.

Now I want deviled eggs something awful.

I decided I did, too, so that's what I had for supper. It's not a proper Fourth of July without deviled eggs, after all.

On a meta note, I wonder if one is obliged to make up one's mind whether one's BJDs are dolls or people, for the purpose of photostories. I want to have it both ways: I love the running theme of Claudine's being perfectly aware that she's a doll, and feeling superior to lame-o humans because of her resinhood, but I also want to make food jokes (etc.) when I feel like it. What to do, what to do? ;-)

Pen is a boy after my own heart....I'd send him a dozen deviled eggs, but I don't think they'd travel so well.

I vote Sooah for Kanbei (will try desperately not to make comments about his big sword). I like the Unidoll, but I'd prefer to see owner photos first.
Here is a pic of my former Sooah (I have tons more, but can't post them as they are awating magazine approval). I think she's a stunner!

Oh, Lordy. I think that just did it for me. With a black wig and brown eyes, she *will* look Asian enough, when I'm in that kind of mood; that was the only thing I was really unsure about.

Unidoll is coming up with so many different headmolds that, partly, I want to wait and see what's next. And, yeah, owner pictures would be nice.

I have more pics.....email me if you want them.
I do think she can look exotically Asian if needed.

It will be needed, at least sometimes--although I'm being inconsistent, because I have no problem at all putting Kanbei (who looks about as Asian as I do) in kimono, do I?

Yup. Sooah it is, at least for this round. Someday, perhaps, oneechan Sooah will get her sister Soah . . . or Unidoll will come up with a head that knocks me sideways at first glance . . . or . . .

Oh, and I meant to say: Lyon notes that HIS sword is not only bigger than Kanbei's, but anatomically correcter. So there.

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Hee! I could have gotten SO much more closet cleaning done if I hadn't spent all afternoon dinking around with this . . .

pen is the bomb! who could resist him in his gorgeous union uniform?

I have a dream of someday seeing all the North American owners' union uniforms in one place . . . which means also seeing all the lovely North American Jins and Juns in one place. It would be nice, wouldn't it?

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