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Love in the Time of Online Auctions: a hit-or-miss photostory
Sasha Blaze
sedens
So, I heard this odd faint keening noise from the living room when I got home from the all-day workshop ordeal I endured today . . .




Act One: The Thunderbolt

ME: Atsu-kun, what’s wrong? Don’t tell me the new hard drive is going bad already!



ATSUMORI: Iie, chigaimasu . . . ga . . .

ME: But? But what? What are you looking at?



ME: O-oh. (thinking: uh-oh.)

ATSUMORI: This is a very beautiful lady.



ATSUMORI: She is like a cherry tree in winter. She deserves the love of an emperor.

ME: Um. That’s a lovely sentiment, and extremely Japanese of you, but--you know, sweetie, she's on eBay right now. She’s going to get a perfectly nice home later this evening. See here? The auction ends in just a little while.

ATSUMORI: So desu ka? How does one enter this ah-ku-sha-n? Ah, I understand—this button, and this. It is quite simple, ne?

ME: Ack! No! Don’t push that—ohmygawdyoucan’t—



Act Two: Three Cheers for Dollshe Brotherhood

LYON: What’s up, Atsuji? I thought I heard somebody shrieking in here.



ME (faintly): He just put in a bid on an Evenstar auction. I’m going to go lie down with a cold cloth over my eyes.

LYON: Yeah? Way to go! What’s she like? Er—it is a girl, right?

ATSUMORI (frosty): Hai.

LYON: Hey, no offense, all right? You haven’t exactly been what I’d call forthcoming about yourself since you got here, you know? . . . So is this her on the—whoa. Whoa, nelly.

ATSUMORI (to himself): I think she is lonely.



LYON: Guys! Guys, come and look at this! Atsumori’s bidding on a hot girlfriend for us! She’s tattooed all over!

ATSUMORI: Us?



Act Three: Far Too Much Input

KANBEI: Ahhhhhhhh.



LYON: What did I tell you, huh? Sejong, have you ever seen anything like this?



LYON: Er, Sejong? I’m almost afraid to ask, but--what is that you’re carrying around in the sack?



SEJONG: It is the head of my enemy, of course. Kanbei-dono, do you find this woman pleasing?

KANBEI: Mmmmmmmmm.



LYON: Wait a minute. The head of your enemy? I thought Cynthia explained to you that Saiki wasn’t your enemy. Besides, he went off for a faceup. Where did you get--

SEJONG: I was briefly mistaken. But this enemy is unquestionably the correct one.



NA-NU-RI: I am not! And I cad’t breathe id here!

LYON: It can talk?

NA-NU-RI (plaintively): I’b nod an id. I’b Na-nu-ri. I hab feeligs too, you know.

SEJONG: Silence! Show me this woman, Kanbei-dono. Ah, she is most handsome. Most handsome. What sort of weapon do you suppose she carries?



ATSUMORI: But—but--



ATSUMORI: But I loved her first.


Act Four: The Consolation of Philosophy

PEN (offscreen): Psssst! Atsumori! Come up here.



PEN: You know, it was really romantic of you to bid on that girl and everything, but—you probably aren’t going to win the auction. You do know that, right? I mean, I’d hate to see you break your heart over her.

ATSUMORI: My heart is not whole, Pen-san.

PEN: Yeah, I know. I miss Jenna all the time. Long-distance relationships are tough.

ATSUMORI: Life is bitterness. That is what you mean.

PEN: Well, not exactly, but it’ll do. . . . Are you going to be okay, Atsu?



ATSUMORI: I bid a large number of dollars for my lady. Perhaps she may come to me in the end.

PEN: A large . . . oh, wow. No wonder Cynthia’s making those choky noises. Maybe I’d better go check on her?

The End (for now).
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That auction changed the way I saw that mold. It made me... greedy. Not greedy enough to do anything DRASTIC LIKE YOUR DEVILBOYS, but I did have a spasm or three.

Sejong is my fucking hero, I love him so much. He is hilarious.

You really need to find the time to do more photostories, every one of them cracks me up, showcases your beauties wonderfully, and is a genuine treat.

Spasms of greed, that's IT! Only, er, I had four. ;-)

Poor Na-Nu-Ri, victim of the single-minded warrior. But from a human POV, the sack is quite a bit cheaper than providing him a body and a faceup . . .

ROTFLMAO!!!!!
This is wonderful!
Sejong and his "sack" totally had me cracking up.....gotta love a man with a purpose.

Oh, Atsu, I will be pulling for you.
~__^

Atsu-kun will greatly, greatly appreciate the sympathy, since he isn't getting much around here. I'll just say that there WILL be a sequel (though I don't know when, because it's raining and pitch-dark today, *sigh*)

Aww, how cute! Great story, good luck to Atsumori getting his lady. Or, shared lady? ^^;

And yes, Sejong is awesome. I love his, "What sort of weapon do you suppose she carries?" XD;

Oh, I forgot to say that your subject line makes me think of Emiliana Torrini. Now I need to go get the CD out of my car. X3

awww! XD;;; he's so sweet... heheh...viola is making wibble noises down here thinking of all your boys. XD

Aaaahhh, Viola should be here to take her pick right now, because they're all perched like vultures on every high flat surface in the living room, waiting for The Outcome. It really is a little intimidating--I hope none of my doll-averse friends stop by today without calling first. ;-)

Tee Hee ... very funny. Seriously though they would make a stunning couple.
She is awesome

Oooooyeah. *siiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhh*

Though I wouldn't count out Kanbei as a suitor--he doesn't say much and he's kinda short, but he has that Marlboro Man charisma thing going on. Plus the muscles, of course.

This was a wonderful story, i love your boys. Atsumori is gorgeous(i mean in a manly way of course ;)) the eye-wig combo is perfect for him. You and Lyn are really tempting me with the dollshe boys...sigh...

We will keep fingers and paws crossed that Mr A can bring his girl home :)

The Dollshes really are wonderful--even when they go all floppy (which Lyon has done; I need to tighten his stringing sometime). There's something about the way the joints work together that's VERY cool.

*Aren't* those nostalgic yellow Gumdrops eyes pretty? I'm so glad I snagged them when Grace posted the prototypes FS on DoA! Now, of course, everybody wants some. *turning wallet upside down and shaking*

Life is bitterness... HA!

Wow, what lovely light you have in these pictures! It's so rich! :)

And you know, if I were Lyon and the other boys, I think I would call dibs first on the new girl. even though TECHNICALLY the new hawt boy saw her first on Ebay, they were THERE first. I mean really. ;)

Really nice pictures, Cynthia! And I like the poses and the dialog is super cute.

Pooooooooooor Atsu-kun. Such a hopeless romantic--who knew? ;-) And he IS outnumbered in the courtship stakes, no question about it . . .

The great thing about having a huge south-facing picture window is that sometimes it's possible to catch nice rich light--but then fifteen SECONDS later the sun shifts a tiny bit, or the clouds move, and blech, the light is all cold and gray. I've decided I'm not going to care, for snapshots like these--if I cared, I'd be spending all my time in Photoshop, and I'm waaaaaayyyy too lazy for that! ;-)

aww poor atsu-chan -_- you diserve a pretty girl all to your-self *luff*

He really does--but I'm not sure what his chances are, now that the whole pack of loser dogs has gotten in on this . . . XD

these pics are AWESOME cynthia!! honest! Man my photostory pics SUCK, for me it can only be about the words, it's the best my camera can do but these pics actually are AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

i can't wait for part two!!

sejong with the head. I can't stand it. Lyon... hey guys! ROFL!! i loved it!!

I agree... we NEED More time for photostories!!!!!!!!!!!

I vote for a government subsidy for photostory creators!

And *awwwwwwwww,* isn't Na-Nu-Ri a pathetic object? He's goofy-looking, nobody wants him, AND he gets hauled around in a Sephora gift bag. At least the bag is kinda pretty and shiny, lolllllllll.

Oh, this is a pure delight :D :D :D

GO ATSU-KUN!!!

-- A ^_^

P.S. And congratulations on your acquisition of The Lady, btw!!

Can you tell I'm avoiding work in a big way? XD I will be sorry I spent all this time on the camera and online later in the week, but it's definitely improved the weekend . . .

I still can't quite believe that I gave in to this mad impulse, but I think it's basically a good one. ;-)

I had to comment - although I've done this backwards now. *facepalm*

He is so incredibly "charactered." I really love all your boys - um, sejong is hysterical - the head of his enemy...bwahahahahahahaha. But Atsu-kun is something incredibly special. I can't believe he set his heart so fiercely on her...

Wow.

I think it's the same kind of directness and, yes, fierceness that you see in your Angel . . . it's there in the mold. I'm enjoying this little diversion, as one way of exploring those qualities.

If I were perfectly honest, I would note that Atsu's personality and my choice of Saint as my second Dollshe boy are partly "inspired" (*ahem*) by the characters and situations of two of my favorite anime characters. (*pointing at icon*) Both of them are, at least in the beginning, dangerously obsessive, suicidally repressed, and, well, just plain dangerous. Over time, though--and with considerable prodding from the friends that fate sends them--they learn to function more or less like human beings.

I started out thinking that Kanbei would shell that kind of character for me, but the SD16 body just isn't quite right for it . . . which does make me wonder what I'm going to do with Kanbei in the long run. He's still a stunner, though, and I'm looking forward to seeing how he, too, looks with Rachel's amazing Bella.

much love to this and all your boys *Muah*!

*blowing air kisses to the lovely Sizu,* who is still my Kanbei's dream girl of all dream girls--those Volks dolls are kinda clannish . . .

Sorry to be so late to catch up with this, Senpai!

I love Atsu...he's so beautiful. I need to get Julia done and back together and free poor Ullrich from his bag. :P Your photostories are so wonderful! On to read the rest!!!

Welcome home!!!

Atsu-kun really is a jewel . . . though this afternoon I'm falling madly in love with Lyon all over again, with his totally different kind of beauty. SO nice not to have to choose between them. ^_^

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Hah! Sejong is most definitely from an earlier era, or maybe they just do things more aggressively in his cloud-cuckoo version of Korea? ;-)

But, yes, he will be very disappointed if she (a) doesn't carry a weapon, or (b) prefers a 9mm Glock to a nice long blade.

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