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Love in the Time of Online Auctions: the Sequel
Sasha Blaze
When I got up this morning, I found this forlorn creature on the front step:

ME: I won't even ask how you reached the lock. Jeez, it's as bad as having a cat. . . . So what are you looking at, Atsu-kun?

ATSUMORI: The rain on these leaves.

ATSUMORI: I remembered a poem. tsuma nashi to . . . yanushi ya kureshi . . . ominaeshi

ME: Translation, please?

ATSUMORI: I have no wife, I said.
And so my landlord gave me
A little maiden-flower.

ME: Ah. Also, ouch.

ATSUMORI: Sumimasen. I did not mean offense.

ME: I know you didn't. . . . Atsu-kun, why don't you sit down for a minute? Please?

ATSUMORI: Sit? Here? Yes, if you wish.

ME: I thought you might have been online this morning, to check the results of that auction.

ATSUMORI: Iie. Pen-san was right. It was nothing more than a night's dream.

ME: No, it wasn't, sweetie. You won. She's coming to live with us. My financial planner is going to have a cow, but what's done is done.

ATSUMORI: Tsuma . . . tsuma desu ka? Hai?

ME: Well, I don't know that "wife" is necessarily--

ATSUMORI: Tsuma desu. Watashi no tsuma desu. Wai, watashi . . . Will you send my picture to her, please, Cynthia-san? Please? She should see me before she comes. She may not think that I am worthy of her. Has the go-between spoken to her family? She must come from a high-born family. I do not--

ME: Breathe, Atsu-kun. This really isn't exactly a marriage arrangement, and--

ATSUMORI: I will stand here. Please take my picture and send it to her. Should I change my clothing? You will tell her family that I have fine clothes, hai? I will not shame her.

ME: And I'll point out that you're capable of combing your hair, too. Though sometimes I wonder about that one. . . . Okay, there you go. Picture taken. Are you happy now?

ATSUMORI: Domo arigato gozaimashita. I am not . . . I do not have the words to say what I mean. I will work my whole life to be worthy of this great gift.

ME: Just promise me that you'll stay off the computer when I'm not at home, okay? Promise?

ATSUMORI: The rain is beautiful, ne?

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*doing the happy-but-stunned karma dance!!!*

*although wondering what to do with all the effing Sooah clothes I managed to acquire during the period when I thought my preorder was being processed*

*they're nice clothes, too, dammit*

Yes, I'm afraid Atsumori may be in for a moderately rude awakening one of these days. On the other hand, he is SO adorable in his cluelessness that I have some hopes for a happy ending. (I never know where my plotlines are going, anyway, because I have the attention span of a gnat. ^_^)

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